From resgination notice to unpaid leave request

I've started to work at Procter and Gamble as a Plant Finance Manager in March 2011. That was 3 months after I graduated from New Zealand. After a year, I've resigned and work as an Analyst for Merger & Acquisition in PETRONAS.

In December 2012, ive gotten married and gave born to my first daughter, Bella in January 2014. During the confinement, almost everyday I would cried (Drama ok!), thinking that I will be back to work after 4 months of leave (that time PETRONAS staff were only entitled for 2 months of maternity leave which ive decided to request for additional two months of unpaid leave). I would be calling my mother and said I couldn't even think of leaving Bella with the helper once I get back to work. You know with the social media, you always read about "Bibik dera anak majikan" etc etc. So I was scared. So I told my mum, im going to resign.

This is Bella, the day she was born

So cute!! How can I leave this tiny lil girl to an unknown stranger@maid?

Then my mum was worried, you know after all the studying and only got to work for 3 years and suddenly me wanted to resign. So she said, "its ok.. don't worry about it as she would come to stay at my house during weekdays when I go to work".

December 2015, I got my second daughter, Maya. Same thing, I wanted to resign as I feel bad for my mum to take care of two kids although I have a maid but my mum also doesn't trust the maid to shower or feed the kids. I know its tiring to take care of two kids. But she said that is ok, just go to work and don't worry about Bella and Maya.

My second angel, Maya!

October 2017 (Bella was 3 years and 9 months, and in the next 3 months she will start her pre-school). In PETRONAS, when you want to resign, you need to provide 3 moths notice period, so with tears (and with drama..habis semua org I call minta advise), I typed my resignation notice as I think that it will really be too much hassle if I want my mum to care for the daughter and at the same time send and pick Bella from her pre-school. I handed in my resignation notice to my Senior Manager (that time I was working under Strategic Planning, Refining & Trading).

I just cannot leave these two lil girls alone with maid and no supervision 

(its just me being me, psycho!)

The turning point when I decided to resign!

It caught my bos by surprised because Ive never talked about it. She's a very nice bos, she said that why dont you tried to utilize your unpaid leave first (Staff are entitled for 1 year unpaid leave) and see if you can really be s stay at home mother because not everyone can stay at home. After thinking about it for a month, I took back the resignation letter and submitted 8 months of unpaid leave (ive utilised 2 months of unpaid leave each for Bella and Maya).

So wish me luck with my trial-stay-at-home-mother period!